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Saturday, July 17, 2010

I Can't Stop Thinking About It

Why do bad things things happen to good people? I remember my mom had a book with that title when I was younger. A copy was given to her by someone very shortly after my dad died and I remember being 8 years old and looking at it just sobbing thinking to myself and asking myself, why? Why does God let such awful things happen to good people?

And as I sit here tonight I wonder the same things. Friends dealing with crisis within their families. Families and my family dealing with death. Friends and family dealing with horrible people who want nothing but to make their lives miserable for whatever stupid reason. Myself dealing with crazy family, health, and finance issues that are allowing me to fall into a state of emotional wreck.

But, a good friend gave me some great advice recently. God gave us eyes in the front of our head so that we can look forward and not back. The quote is not exact but very similar.

So as I sit here, ready to throw in the towel, ready to give up. Ready to go back into my bed and sob as I try to sleep....I remember that what I'm going through is nothing compared to what some others close to me are dealing with. I have to have a plan. I can't let myself keep looking back. I have to move forward. With or without those who are holding me back. Life is too short.

Friday, July 16, 2010

It's Been Too LONG!

I have to stop neglecting my blog. But, alas, I have been busy. Busy removing toxic people from my life, from my groups, from stalking my friends, etc. Busy with a toddler that is getting her molars, and two boys who claim to be ever bored on their summer break. (I have to admit, it's been so hot it's hard to leave the house and the A/C! Is this the hottest summer ever, or what?) Busy trying to keep myself going and on track with tapering from my Suboxone and getting myself back to "normal".

The one thing that never ceases to amaze me is how incredibly ignorant and immature some people can be. In just the past day I have witnessed bullying, stalking, ignorance, and women who have WAY too much time on their hands. Don't you people have children to care for? Oh yeah! I forgot they must take a back seat to online feuds (insert puke face and yawn face here!)

On to the GOOD stuff! My daughter, my beautiful daughter! She is dealing with an undiagnosed (for now) speech delay. We have EI coming out on Aug 3rd for the eval. for their speech therapy program. I'm excited. I'm excited to learn some new tips to get her talking sooner and getting some interaction with others besides us. It will be great for her. Robert was an early talker, Tyler was a late talker but at the time I wasn't online and his doctor wasn't overly concerned with it so I dealt with it. And no worries, when he was about 3.5 yrs old he started talking and to this day, never stopped. My only worries with Lil are her sensory issues combined with her not talking. I'm going to be very relieved to have a professional involved.

So maybe now that toxic people are going to be removed and vacation is upon us....NC for 4 days! WOOT BABY! (except for the 9 hr car drive, No WOOT on that one! UGH!) It's gonna be a blast. And much needed. Many upcoming things to look forward to as well as Robert is looking forward to Cub Scout camp next week. I never hear the end of it. I'm just proud of him for being a scout. That's my little man!

Stay tuned for my Paying It Forward entry coming soon!